So it's 4:30 in the morning and I woke up because I had a nightmare, and I'm reading over my essay trying to revise it and trying not to think of a hundred other things, and I suppose I got sentimental.

Dear Adi:

I'm sorry I keep missing you on Skype lately. Everything's so busy, and the next few days are going to be the same. I still have to finish this paper and revise this other one and take a final later today. That's not going to be very fun. Then it's off home, finally, but I'll have internet so I'll be able to talk. Even though we'll be six hours away, and not five.

But I just wanted to tell you that you are seriously one of my best friends in the entire world. You're pretty much everything I ever wanted in a bff. Because I know that sometimes I like to hide behind everything, not because I'm scared but because it's so much less troublesome, and I know that when I get upset or when someone disappoints me I like to smile and say "it's okay; it's okay that they disappointed me, because they're people and how could I expect any better?" But in the end I do get hurt, and I'm just lying to myself when I say that I try to have low expectations of others so that I don't get hurt, because I always have high expectations anyway.

Look, what I'm trying to say is this:

You are the only person I've ever met who refuses to take my bullshit and who tries to drag me out anyway. You are the only person I've ever met who would send me a hundred e-mails a day, even though you know it might make me roll my eyes, just because I haven't been around in a week. You're the only person I've ever met who would call me at four in the morning because you want to tell me good news, even though you know I'm asleep and (were I not intelligent enough to keep my volume off at night for this very eventuality) would definitely get up and yell at you and hang up five times before I tell you congratulations and then say UGH and go back to bed. You are the only person I've ever met who pushes me and prods me and pokes me and refuses to let me stay where I am, because YOU want to spend time with me regardless of whether I want to take a nap.

And that is everything I ever wanted in a friend.

Because in the end I'm just this awkward, small, scared little person who wants people to notice her but is too scared of intruding or offending or annoying to make more than a cursory effort, and all I ever wanted was someone who would take that bullshit and not leave. And be selfish with me, and yell at me, and laugh with me, and say "look I don't care if you want to take a nap STAY UP AND KEEP ME COMPANY." All I ever wanted was someone who would like me so much that they'd want to talk to me whenever, and bug me whenever, and who would send me a dozen e-mails yelling at me to get on Skype when they know I'm at work and won't get home until evening.

All I ever wanted was someone who liked me enough to be selfish with me. Who would like me enough to be unselfish with me. Who wants me to spend time with them because somehow, for some reason, they honestly liked me. And you do that, and even though I might have yelled at you and gotten angry if you'd actually woken me up at two in the morning (because really adi YOU CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO BELIEVE THAT IS OKAY), I would have gone to sleep smiling.

You've called airports for me, and you've typed up hand-written essays for me, and you've stayed up for me and been angry for me and been upset for me and been annoying for me, and you've been a bad person for me and you've been a good person for me, and you wrote me terrible, hilarious e-mails about people we don't discuss for me, and you've forced yourself to be brave and told me you were angry at me for me, and...look, I will never be able to tell you how much I love you for that. NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY SO STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN WITH THE GAIUS EYEBROW LOOK OKAY (you told me that once for me, also).

I'm just saying. You are one of my best friends in the entire world. You will never know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. Because in the end, all I ever wanted was someone who would like me enough to not leave, and you are that person.

Yes, I'm crying. Don't make fun of me you whore. You're just as much of a crybaby as I am.

ilu adi. Never change.

Consider this the longer version of the time capsule I wrote you.

If we're still not best friends in ten and twenty and fifty years' time, I will not rest until I make it so that we are again. For everything you've done for me, and everything you've given me, that is the least I can do.

HI HERE'S MY SECOND ENTRY FOR WHAT MADE ME HAPPY THIS WEEK




( spoilers for kh:bbs DON'T CLICK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE )

AHHHHHHHHHH




spoilers maybe in comments too, gotta watch out for that

ETA: ( omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg )

this week's merlin, in 18 pictures: featuring small spoilers

( YOU'RE THE VOICE TRY AND UNDERSTAND IT )


yeah. basically, they're having sex.

and you know you like it

also, doing nanowrimo this year. i'll be trying to post what i write every day to the crit group, so you lucky guys get to edit hohoho

Today I had a chocolate milkshake. You don't know how much this pleases me. ♥

Title: Free BK Bacon Bap With Any Drink Purchased
Pairing: Sora/Riku
Genre: Romance/Humor/Drama
Word Count: 4k+
Rating: R
Notes: For questofdreams who once upon a time requested Sora/Riku, in that order. No, the title has no relevance to anything ever, but when I began this story about a year ago, I looked down at my coupon book chockfull of lovely Irish coupons, and this was what I saw. Also. See, Riku is a bag of issues. I wanted to write a story wherein he had to deal with those issues, but without confronting them head on. That is to say, I wanted to tell a story about relationships and the many problems that come with them, and the way in which something small can actually signify something much larger, but that also showed that love is tough and can slug through all of that. I’m not sure if I managed to properly convey that, so please offer any crit as you see fit! I'll go back and edit later, but this one was way too long in the coming, and I'm tired.
Summary: The grandest of heroic deeds are those which are performed within four walls and in domestic privacy.


( it was the month for weddings, after all )


If you catch any errors or have crit to offer, please feel free to do so!

Look I don't even know, this was supposed to be 500 words of porn and then it turned into 3k of fight scenes and why-I-love-the-Joi, plus a handjob. I am so so sorry. It's not even funny. I wrote Gintama fic that is not even funny. I should be shot.

also I was so close to calling this fic Dream Believer. If you watched Tenipuri, you'll know why. If you didn't, you'll be grateful I chose not to anyway. And someone please tell me how plurals work re: organizations. Fourth year of uni, and I still haven't figured it out.

Title: White Dregs
Fandom: Gintama
Pairing: Bansai/Yamazaki
Rating: R
Genre: not funny
Notes: checkeredpaint drew me BanZaki. I told her I'd write porn to match it. I lied.
Summary: A year is far too long a time to watch the control forged over a decade slip through your fingers.

( you should always take off your headphones when having sex )

So, aurons_fan wrote me Chad/Ryan. Long, porny, wonderful Chad/Ryan, in which they make booty calls and Ryan owns a private jet.

This is my thank-you. ♥

Title: Rapunzel
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Humor/FLUFF GEEZ SO MUCH FLUFF
Notes: Disney's making Rapunzel. Obviously, this must be taken advantage of. 1300 words of terrible, terrible fluff. And our favorite boys poking fun at each other, because that's what they do.
Dedicated to: aurons_fan ilu! I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. Or, Riku has a problem and Sora laughs and laughs.

( You're getting hair in my mouth. )

As always, edits and crit much appreciated! If you catch any errors, please let me know! ♥

Now, I'm off to give blood. Let's hope I don't pass out again!

This is what I did with my summer:


See, originally my goal was thirty, but by the time I got to 30 I still had three weeks left, and 40 is such an awkward number. So I chose 50. But when I finished 50 I still had a few days to go, and by that time I was already done with packing, but my sister hadn't finished hers yet and my mother was busy with moving, so I couldn't spend time with them...so I just read five more.

55 books. Some of them wonderful. Most of them passable. Only one deserving of being burned to cinders and then having those cinders PISSED ON BY DOGS. And I have so much to say about all of them asjl;fd

On that note...would anyone here be interested in book reviews? I mean...I read a lot, obvs, but I don't want to clutter up my flist with reviews if most of you would be opposed? YAY OR NAY?

anywayyyy...♥

ALSO I DIDN'T CHEAT! For every short book I read, I also read one that was like 800 pages long. No teeny tiny novellas for me. I used variety.

ilu all

so, i realized today that i've written about 500k worth of fic in the last 3 years. that's five books.

oh my.

also, um. i've been rethinking my decision to give up posting on ffnet. there are pros and cons, obviously, but the bottom line is that i met so many of you through that site, and i wouldn't give that up for the world. so, um. do you have any advice?

Hi! I'm writing this using a tablet, which is cool on account of the fact that it alleviates just about all of the strain on my wrists. I'm still practicing, but I think I'm getting the hang of it! Firstly, thank you all so much for wishing me a happy birthday! It really means a lot! I love you all lots. Secondly though, I thought I'd leave you with a small present. I wrote this fic a while ago for 0SS, but as I rushed the hell out of it, I wanted to edit it before posting it officially on my lj. Still not completely happy with it, but am I ever? Some of you have probably already seen it, but I hope you enjoy the edited version. And if you haven't seen it, I hope you like!

also? i miss my icons :(

Title: Flower on a High Peak
Pairing: Riku/Sora
Rating: R
Genre: Waaaaangst
Summary: On repentance.

( it doesn't change anything )

INTERNETS BACK

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK

AT THIS ART

FOR PARLOR

( Read more... )

ADI QUESTY HINA I LOVE YOU.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT

EVER

Hi! So first of all, welcome to everybody who's friended me over the last few days from ffnet! I know that I'm sort of inconveniencing all of you right now, especially the people who didn't have ljs before, but hopefully you'll all enjoy yourself while you're here! And lol if you've got any questions, just ask and I'll be more than happy to answer.

Anyway, it's that time of the year (by which I mean it's the last month of school and there are essays and when I'm done with those essays there will be more essays and when I'm done with those essays I'll have even more essays and if I ever see another word processing document in my life I'm going to buy a pack of gummi bears for the express purpose of tearing their poor little heads off as a means of stress relief, and then I'll have zombie gummi bear nightmares and I'll end up quite distressed and still needing to do more essays woe), and I think that everyone could do with a pick-me-up of sorts. So, for everyone on my flist, I propose a love meme of sorts!

Comment (either with your accounts or anonymously) with something that makes you happy! A compliment, a love note, a song, a photo. Tell your best friend you love them. Write a letter to your mother. Post a picture you think is pretty. Talk about your favorite ships! Comment on someone else's comment, whether you know them or don't, and say "hi, I hope you have a great day." If it makes you happy, post it!

I'll begin, with a video I saw for the first time about a week ago on nuvolaluz's journal. It made me smile ♥

( validation )

let's just get this out of the way first, because you know it's coming:

Now that that's done:

HEY, HEY

YOU GUYS

YOU SHOULD ALL WISH fish_for_stars and nuvolaluz a VERY MERRY BELATED BIRTHDAY. BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME. I REPEAT: AWESOME.

So what does this mean? It means that I finally got off my ass and did something. Two somethings, actually, though only the first is a present. The second is just me being an idiot. BUT. I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH, AND I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I hope you enjoy!

Title: A Treatise on Fairytales, Reworked (2 of 9)
Chapter Title: Evil Men Always Want to Screw You
Genre: Fantasy/Humor/Gen/One day this will be romance I promise
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto. In the future. Way in the future.
Rating: PG
Previous Chapters: [Round One]
Summary: Of villains and virgins and getting tied to a tree.
Notes: Does anyone even remember this fic? Probably not. Seeing as how I wrote it over a year ago :| Also, the poem inside is by Karen Lynne Nivens. As always, I claim no rights to any of this, excepting the plot obvs.

( by my estimates, this story will be done in approximately seven years )


AND AS A LIMITED TIME OFFER: I wrote High School Musical fic. No, I'm not joking. Yes, I do love the trilogy. In fact, I adore the trilogy and think it's awesome and I'm a little in love with Chad. Anyway.

Title: My Apologies to Troy
Pairing: Troy/Gabriella
Rating: PG-15
Genre: crack crack crack
Summary: So, your life is awesome.


( the title is relevant. it's so relevant. )


ANYWAY. I LOVE YOU ALL, AND I'M SORRY THIS BIRTHDAY FIC/GREETING IS TERRIBLY LATE. I ADORE YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLINGS.


also, four mini notes.

one: did I forget that? my bad.
Because I'm pretty sure I've forgotten everything.

two: DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY BATMAN? BAAAAAAAAAAATMAN?

three: on that note, I'm picking up Giselle and I DEMAND a Prince Edward.

and four: semi-hiatus, because I've somehow fucked up my wrists and if I want to ever type again I figure I should probably give them a rest, so. ILU ALL

So, I really do have a number of things to write about (CLICK MY DRAGONS GUYS ), but more importantly is this:


Title: oedipus
Pairing: AkuRoku
Genre: ACTION. COMEDY. ROMANCE. No, wait...
Rating: PG-13
Notes: okay, you know how I always say "lol this is the weirdest thing I've ever written?" I MEAN IT THIS TIME. Written for ronsard in the oh_shit_santa exchange (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD CHECK OUT BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME), where two of the prompts given were akuroku + supernatural. So. Also, huge thanks to asario who served as a beta for this, and to silverwyrm, nurikokoishii, questofdreams, and atanih88 for letting me bounce ideas off them and listening to me freak out again. and again. and again.
Summary: So, let's say you sell vacuum cleaners.


( We begin with an infomercial )


(it's a two parter, so when you're done with the first, click the "onward" link!)

Hey hey hey!

Sorry for the radio silence, guys! The past few weeks have been absolutely chock full with thing after thing after thing, from leaving my wonderful Ireland, to Christmas with family and friends, to volunteering at my old work and attending weddings and wtf-ing at the destruction of the local Blockbuster by way of runaway car. Haha, things have been hectic, and they'll probably only be more so in the time to come. In the meantime, though, two things! No, three! Firstly:

MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS,
AND A
VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

Second thing:
I...actually have fic. *___* Written for the khr_exchange comm a week or so ago, as a gift for rogue_picaro. Not sure how many of you on my flist ship the pairing, but I had fun with it!

Title: Sex and Sushi, or, How Squalo Was Banned From Baseball From Now Until Armageddon
Pairing: Yamamoto/Squalo
Rating: PG-15, with an R omake
Genre: Romance/Crack
Summary: Squalo would have been happier with socks.

( Beaches are always closed for renovation )


And one more thing! A lot of you have been feeling kind of down lately, but that's no way to usher in the new year, so to all of you, I wish you the very best! GIVE EACH OTHER LOTS OF LOVE!

I-I'd also like to give shoutouts to achiever, tsunayoshi and asario. YOU GUYS DESERVE THE WORLD, AND IT MAKES ME SAD WHEN YOU GUYS ARE UPSET, TOO. BE HAPPY, OKAY?

I'LL REPLY TO ALL COMMENTS ONE DAY, I PROMISE. Also yes, midnightbanshee, you own my life :( d-do it gently plz

But in the meanwhile (and because my exams are finally done kalsdj;fl YES. Only two essays to go!):

THE "GODDAMNIT WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE ON YOU?? IS THIS A MODESTY THING? ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ME EXPRESSING MY AFFECTIONS IN HYPERTEXT, IS THAT IT!? BECAUSE ALL I WANT TO DO IS PERV ON YOU ANONYMOUSLY BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE IT SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT!!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" MEME

I've spent the last hour replying to everyone I know, both anon and un-anon :| really, though. that title is so appropriate...

W-well, I was going to wait to post this, but aubuyn told me to do it right now. So.

Also, the url for this makes me smile.

Title: Parlor
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Rating: Fucking NC-17
Warnings: Gah. Um. Squick. Spiders. Graphic sex, both slash and het. Creep. An OC. Deviating from canon. Violence.
Genre: Romance/Horror
Summary: "Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly; "Tis the prettiest little parlor that you ever did spy!"


( If your right hand sins, should it not be cut off? )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOKUDERA-KUN

Ehehehe, uh. IT'S STILL THE NINTH IN MY TIME ZONE. A-and I know I've been shirking my duties; I still haven't finished the Zexion/Demyx I wanted to write a few days ago. And yes, I have good reasons, but I'm still disappointed in myself. B-BUT I FIGURED NO MATTER WHAT, I COULDN'T LET GOKUDERA-KUN'S BIRTHDAY GO UNCELEBRATED, SO. Happy birthday, dear. I love you bunches.

Title: Not an Omake
Genre: Romance/Humor?
Rating: PG-ish.
Author's Notes: A huge thank you to Questy, KT, and Nuri! The first for reading it over, the second for reading it over and ensuring that Christmas songs will stay stuck in my head for years, and the third for being generally awesome, even if she's almost as bad at titles as I am.

( Cliches are cliches for a reason. It's because they're AWESOME. )

Title: Hell: Remix, or, How to Be Human, by Gokudera Hayato - Part Two.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Everything
Pairing: GokuTsuna
Summary: In which Gokudera is a demon and Tsuna is fail fail fail.

( Do Not Join the Boxing Club )

Summary: In which Gokudera is a demon, and Tsuna is fail fail fail.